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Turning fantasy into reality…

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  • #115900
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    I was wondering if there are any girls here who like me are taking it to the next level.

    Turning the fantasy of being feminised into the reality of becoming the woman they know they really are?

    I know from personal experience that it is a very scary thing to even consider, and it took every ounce of will power to actually leave the house for the first time dressed properly. I even managed to drive into town and go to Boots. I went to the make-up counter and asked the woman there to use the machine to find the correct shade of foundation for me (No.7 Soft Rose it turned out). She was as amazed as me that it provided such good coverage of the beard shadow, and I’ve been using it every day ever since (2½ years nearly)

    I have been very lucky. At work they just accepted me as Emma, and I have only lost two or three ‘friends’. On the plus side I have met some wonderful people who just accept me as me. OK so I get the odd comment from f*ck wits, but they are few and far between and the friends I have made more than make up for the idiots. As I said I have been very lucky, I have not so far encountered any hint of aggression from any one, but I have heard of girls who have. That was my biggest fear before starting to transition. Losing friends I thought I could cope with, but the potential violent reaction of strangers was scary. So far only (well, mostly) good vibes all round.

    If anyone else has covered this I apologise.


    Emma
    oxo


    Emma
    oxo

    #116008
    Alison Anderson
    Participant

    Emma,

    Congratulations on the progress you made.  I consider myself a cross dresser, and therefore have no plans to transition.  That said, I can relate with a lot of what you said.

    Yes, that first time you go out is hard. You don’t have confidence, and think everyone is looking at you.  As you continue going out, it becomes second nature.

    Most people only know only one side of me.  Only a few know both the male and female me.  I too have been pretty lucky in that very few have read me and let me know in no uncertain terms (either laughed or called me sir when dressed en femme). Either I am good at fooling others, or I give off enough feminine signals that people don’t break out of their own thoughts to notice, or people accept me.  Whatever the case, I feel as comfortable going out en femme as I do as a male.

    Continued good wishes on your journey.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #116063
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    Thanks Alison,

    I would have started my transition way back in the stone age when I was twenty but just before I managed to get enough courage together a friend was caught dressed by ‘friends’ and they beat the crap out of hir. We never saw hir again as they moved out of the area before we even found out about it. That’s what held me back for so long, not the fear of being laughed at but of the possible violent reaction from people I knew.

    You would be amazed at some of the people who I have met since transitioning that I would now consider friends who used to give me dirty looks before when I was a biker.


    Emma
    oxo

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #116123
    Anonymous

    I am so lucky to have a petite, girly body, so it was an easy choice to become a sissygirl, tee-hee! I mostly dress at home, but will be going out soon.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #129288
    aurissa
    Participant

    Thanks Alison,

    I would have started my transition way back in the stone age when I was twenty but just before I managed to get enough courage together a friend was caught dressed by ‘friends’ and they beat the crap out of hir. We never saw hir again as they moved out of the area before we even found out about it. That’s what held me back for so long, not the fear of being laughed at but of the possible violent reaction from people I knew.

    You would be amazed at some of the people who I have met since transitioning that I would now consider friends who used to give me dirty looks before when I was a biker.

    This may be a tad late; however, congrats on becoming the real you. If you saw how this sissy slave maid looks IRL you would probably think of me to be one of those f*ck wits. However, this sissy slave maid would be and is a big cheerleader for you (wish she could fit in one of those outfits *giggle*). You just never know who is in your corner, this sissy slave maid suspects there are more than even you know.

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #134155
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    Aurissa I really doubt if I would mistake you for one of the F*cktards.

    There is one pub I have to go to (being the sound engineer for a ska band) and every time some ‘wit’ puts ‘Aerosmith – Dude looks like a lady’ on the jukebox. One day I will have to look and see if it also has the track ‘The Pink Fairies – ‘I wish I was a girl’ on it, that might just shut them up, especially if I put it on every time they play the other track. I suspect that the idiots I get a bad reaction from secretly want to be me. *giggle*

    You can come cheer in my corner any time you like girl, and we WILL find a uniform for you.


    Emma
    oxo

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Emma Peel.
    • This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Emma Peel.
    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #134256
    aurissa
    Participant

    Aurissa I really doubt if I would mistake you for one of the F*cktards.

    There is one pub I have to go to (being the sound engineer for a ska band) and every time some ‘wit’ puts ‘Aerosmith – Dude looks like a lady’ on the jukebox. One day I will have to look and see if it also has the track ‘The Pink Fairies – ‘I wish I was a girl’ on it, that might just shut them up, especially if I put it on every time they play the other track. I suspect that the idiots I get a bad reaction from secretly want to be me. *giggle*

    You can come cheer in my corner any time you like girl, and we WILL find a uniform for you.

    Thank you kindly Emma (fyi my third favourite female name thanks to Watson, Stone, etc).

    You are likely correct, they want to be you, heck maybe some want to be with you. And, a few are most likely just scared of something they do not understand. Let me be the first to say that this sissy slave maid is not claiming to understand, merely empathizing for the difficulty others are making your life when what you have done comes with its own difficulties and should be supported not met with derision.

    We will need to ensure that uniform is PINK Girl!

     

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #134926
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    Third! How very dare you! *giggle*

    One or two of them might just be acceptable, but only if they were in a dress, heels and wearing make-up.

    Just in case anyone is interested in the track by the Pink Fairies:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVk4jQt7pMk

    Will this do for your uniform Aurissa?

    Pink Cheerleader

     


    Emma
    oxo

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #134966
    The Hired Help
    Participant

    First off being who you are isn’t easy, so congrats on that.

    Second: Lola by the Kinks, would also be a good choice if your first choice isn’t on the Jukebox

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #134972
    kandijayne
    Participant

    Lola by the Kinks, would also be a good choice if your first choice isn’t on the Jukebox

    Ah yes, LOLA is definitely more my era!

    I'm a damsel in distress, not a damsel in dat dress

    #135058
    aurissa
    Participant

    Third! How very dare you! *giggle*

    One or two of them might just be acceptable, but only if they were in a dress, heels and wearing make-up.

    Just in case anyone is interested in the track by the Pink Fairies:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVk4jQt7pMk

    Will this do for your uniform Aurissa?

    Pink Cheerleader

    Yes, it would – thanks Emma!

    Gonna need a blonde wig now *giggle*

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #135059
    aurissa
    Participant

    First off being who you are isn’t easy, so congrats on that.

    Second: Lola by the Kinks, would also be a good choice if your first choice isn’t on the Jukebox

    Awesome song – loved it even before this sissy maid knew what it was about (was only 1 years old back in 1970)

     

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by aurissa.
    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #135410
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    The Kinks and The Pink Fairies were the same era, and I love them both. Very different genres of music though. I was 10 in 1970, and really annoyed my parents by constantly singing Lola, didn’t understand what it was about at that age, but obviously my parents did. I’d already started ‘borrowing’ my sisters clothes by then (I started when I was 7). Oh the innocence of youth. 😀


    Emma
    oxo

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #135453
    Kira
    Participant

     

    Engineer for a SKA band?! What an awesome coincidence!! I’m a photographer for a SKA band!! How cool is that?!?!

     

    My name is Kira and I do what I am told.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #135749
    the Morrigan
    Participant

    There is one pub I have to go to (being the sound engineer for a ska band) and every time some ‘wit’ puts ‘Aerosmith – Dude looks like a lady’ on the jukebox. One day I will have to look and see if it also has the track ‘The Pink Fairies – ‘I wish I was a girl’ on it, that might just shut them up, especially if I put it on every time they play the other track. I suspect that the idiots I get a bad reaction from secretly want to be me. *giggle*

    You are likely correct, they want to be you, heck maybe some want to be with you. And, a few are most likely just scared of something they do not understand.

    I think you’re both underestimating the ability of ignorant scumbags to hate. @emmascott I doubt any of these a**holes has any conscious desire to be you, and subconscious desires will often cause (I won’t use the word “force” here , since it’s all internal) a person to act out against those desires, sometimes violently.



    @aurissa
    please remember that fear is a great (perhaps the greatest) motivator for violence. What the mob fears, it tries to destroy.

    I’m not trying to scare anybody, but please, just be safe. Watch yourself and your surroundings when entering or leaving this club where you have to work. I assume you’re somewhere in the UK by your use of the word “pub,” and I have no statistics about anti-trans violence there, but I know it’s a major problem with the trans community in the US. So please be careful.

    That said, I’d love to hear that you not only found “I Wish I Was a Girl” on the club’s jukebox, but convinced the owner(s) to replace “Dude Looks Like a Lady” with it … preferably without changing the labels for the next time the f**ktards decide to screw with you … 😈

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #135957
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    @the Morrigan. You are correct, I am in the UK, on the south coast.

    The reason I feel reasonably safe in that particular pub is because the Ska band I do the sound for has quite a large Skinhead following, and for some reason they seem to have adopted me. Well they seem to like me anyway. They had a 50th anniversary of the Skinhead movement last year and asked me to be the sound engineer for the event. 6 bands, 15 minute turn around between each band, and just me and the bands involved to do it. I was a very busy girl that day I can tell you. I even got a gig with one of the bands out of it, in London.

    I always make sure I am not alone when I visit a new place. I know there are people who for their own reasons don’t like people like me and some of them can act very aggressively.

    Unfortunately the jukebox in question is an electronic one and the tracks are online. So as I am not a hacker I doubt I could swap ‘I wish I was a girl’ for ‘Dude looks like a lady’. Perhaps I’ll just thank them for playing my song. *giggle*


    Emma
    oxo

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by Emma Peel.
    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #136077
    the Morrigan
    Participant

    Okay, you have officially freaked me out, here. A ska band (Jamaican music, let us all keep in mind, no matter who the musicians are) has a skinhead following? And those followers have somehow adopted a trans girl? Holy poot. Wonders truly will never cease. 😉 You’ve somehow managed to tame a group of the most violently prejudiced … creatures … the world has ever known, and a group not at all known for its open-mindedness. Congratulations.

    I always make sure I am not alone when I visit a new place. I know there are people who for their own reasons don’t like people like me and some of them can act very aggressively.

    I’m very happy to hear that you’re taking proper precautions. I believe that “act very aggressively” is something of an understatement, but that may simply be because I’m aware of the numbers of violent anti-trans acts (including murder) in the US, but not knowledgeable about those numbers in the UK. In any case, I’m glad you’re being careful.

     

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #136097
    Kira
    Participant

    Emma can correct me if I’m wrong here, but skinheads in Europe are far different than what we see here in the US. They aren’t all racists and neo-Nazis. While some are, many are center or far left leaning. They started out more as a working class counter-culture group. In the US, skinheads are mainly extreme white supremacists. UK skinheads have been known to include black skinheads as well as white. Sure, they can be violent at times, but they aren’t so easily as defined in Europe, as they are here, as violent right wingers.

     

    My name is Kira and I do what I am told.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #136209
    Alison Anderson
    Participant

    XThe step between stereotyping and prejudice is very small.  Please be cautious judging a group by a stereotype.  Judge based on their behavior.  Could a group of skinheads be one person with cancer on chemotherapy and friends who shaved their heads as a sign of unity?  Isn’t it the same as when other people feel that men who wear women’s clothing are faggots and therefore less than human and therefore they have a right to beat them up even to the point of death?

    I’m not saying not to be cautious because of the correlation between people’s looks and their behavior.  Just be careful not to say all X are Y either.

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    #138189
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    Sorry I forgot that British skinheads are a different breed to some (most?) others. The British skinhead movement started in the late 60’s (generally recognised even by skinheads as 1969). The music they are into is predominantly ska, rock steady and reggae. They are usually to be seen in turned up Levis with red braces (suspenders), 14 hole Doc Marten boots and Ben Sherman (or similar) shirts, although t-shirts are/were common too. Being more of a hippie when I was growing up I tended to avoid skinheads as the two cultures didn’t get on, but to be honest I was more scared of mods than skinheads. Bikers on the other hand I found to be usually more open and friendly.

    Many years ago (when I was 19) I was walking through the city on my way from the seafront to a friends house about three miles away. It was a hot day, and as a baby biker I was wearing my leather jacket, so I decided to pop into the nearest pub. I walked through the door and almost turned and ran but realised that that would have been the worst thing I could have done. The place was wall to wall skinhead! I approached the bar and waited. The barman (the only non-skinhead in the place apart from me) nodded to me to show he’d seen me and I waited to get served. Just as the barman took my order (a pint of bitter) a huge skin (well over 6′) came and stood next to me, just inside the comfort zone. The barman came back with my beer and as I went to pay him the giant skinhead said “Your money’s no good in here, this one’s on me. It’s your first and last in this pub, just ‘coz you’ve got enough bottle to walk in here.” I nervously thanked him and drank my pint (quickly) while he, and his friends, watched me. I thanked him again and calmly (ha ha ha!) walked out.

    There are some Skinheads in the local group who stopped being skins in the mid to late 70’s when the movement became very racist. The racist element seem to have moved on these days, at least among the guys I’ve met over the last five or so years. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t prejudiced people among them, there are in all walks of life, but there do seem to be more genuine people in recognisable groups than in the majority of the ‘herd’

    That said I am definitely more of a rock-chick with a love of large capacity single and twin cylinder motorcycles. My ideal bike – 1938 Panther 100

    Riding gear…

    Of course the strides and jacket would be real leather. I definitely don’t want gravel rash.

    Now as to what I would wear on a night out? Well I’d probably go for…

    Although being a bit long in the tooth I’m not sure I’d get away with it. But sod it, I’d go for it. Actually thinking about it, the only part of that outfit I don’t have is (are?) the gloves. ;-D

     


    Emma
    oxo

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #138280
    aurissa
    Participant

    Thanks now this sissy slave maid has another perfect mistress with lots of leather and especially the fiery red hair tucked up like a seductive librarian! 😈

     

    Thanks!

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    Attachments:
    #138283
    aurissa
    Participant

    And for how this sissy slave maid would like to be handled by said Mistress, this is one of many examples.

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    Attachments:
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    #138369
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    Ooh! I’m sure we could come to some arrangement Aurissa, and I’m also sure we could find another use for that pole when you’re not strapped to it. *giggle*


    Emma
    oxo

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #138578
    aurissa
    Participant

    Ooh! I’m sure we could come to some arrangement Aurissa, and I’m also sure we could find another use for that pole when you’re not strapped to it. *giggle*

    LOL – OMG – That is one mighty long pole!

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    #138913
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    Ooh! I’m sure we could come to some arrangement Aurissa, and I’m also sure we could find another use for that pole when you’re not strapped to it. *giggle*

    LOL – OMG – That is one mighty long pole!

    I was thinking of dancing. *giggle*


    Emma
    oxo

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #139184
    aurissa
    Participant

    OMFG – of course *checks for blonde roots*!

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    #140072
    aurissa
    Participant

    Anybody into a little light bondage. Well at least they have each other and those electrical cords must lead to something interesting!

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

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    #140370
    aurissa
    Participant

    And now something else for the maids, especially those who like to travel!

    aurissa
    sissy slave maid happily accepts what she is given

    Attachments:
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    #140446
    Emma Peel
    Participant

    And now something else for the maids, especially those who like to travel!

    That reminds me of a story I wrote on the old LiL in 2015 under my old pseudonym M (The story was called DROSS if anyone is interested). I miss being able to post fiction. I’ve tried other sites/places but they don’t feel the same as it did getting feedback from the girls.


    Emma
    oxo

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #140664
    kandijayne
    Participant

    That reminds me of a story I wrote on the old LiL in 2015 under my old pseudonym M (The story was called DROSS if anyone is interested)

    Emma, I have just read DROSS on the old LiL stories thread. Great story, I really enjoyed it! Unfortunately chapters 7-13 were  not recovered by the archive, so I missed a lot of Leslie’s later training, but chapter 14, which I think is the last chapter, was there. As I said, really enjoyable. Thank you!

    I'm a damsel in distress, not a damsel in dat dress

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