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Some personal advice on getting started in role-play

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  • #133459
    poppy
    Participant

    It was not that long ago I started at LiL. At the time I did find it confusing and a little difficult to get started on the main role-play site. I wanted to share the things I found out. Please bear in mind this is a personal guide and not by any means a set of rules.

    Etiquette

    Most threads are an interaction between 2 players. One, the top running and controlling the story and the other, the sub responding. It is considered rude to join in a thread that is running un-invited. This is especially so if the thread is marked “Private” or “PVT”

    There are some group threads and adventure stories which have multiple players. If you wish to join one of these, it is better to message one of the players asking and seeking the guidelines for the story first.

    In the OOC discussions and places like the Steel Horse Saloon, it is different and there is no need to ask, just join in the fun.

    Getting started Role Playing.

    You have started the “courses” and are eager to get started so you post in the OOC lobby that you want to start. Well it often comes up in question that nothing happens. Not surprising really. This is a free site and you are not paying for someone to write a story for you. You need to “attract attention”.

    First of all, try to make sure your profile is filled out. Do you want to play with a faceless player? Put up an avatar. There are many members each of whom are different. How can they tell if you will be compatible with your style if your profile is blank. Are your interests the same? What type of story do you wish to take part in? Finally, would you wish to play out a thread with someone who is too lazy to fill out a profile?

    While you are doing this, explore. A good way is to look at “new posts”. You can select these to be the last day, 3 days, week etc. It will give you a good idea of who is active and covers the groups as well. It can give you an idea of different ideas and different writing styles. While you are doing that give thanks for the posts you like. Not least because it will show the writer that their efforts are appreciated. More importantly it will let them know you are reading their work and they may look at your profile.

    Try to take part in “general” threads. Things like the one on what you would like to be wearing or the role models in homework. Again this will show if someone checks your profile.

    By now, you should have a better idea of what exactly you wish to do and who with. Some like largely graphical threads, some like frequent one or two line replies and some like more detailed entries. Think of the story you want to do and update your profile again.

    Now you are almost ready. If you wish to take part in the M&R Corporation, then post in the OOC lobby. Not just a “feminise me” but an outline of your “story so far” from your profile. Then wait! Hopefully someone will message you. You can then discuss your story with them and when you are agreed, then and only then place your first post in the Initiation Forum.

    You can also do a similar thing for the Lacy Place in the arrivals. If your idea is a little different from these then have a look at the groups. See who is writing in them. If you don’t get a response and you may need to be patient, by all means try messaging one of the people whose writing you like and you would like to role-play with. However, don’t be surprised or offended if they turn you down. They might already have several running. It takes time and effort to write a good detailed post and so many like to limit the number they do at a time.

    Remember also, it is entirely up to you who you role-play with. If you are contacted by a member whose style you don’t like or your intro gets jumped on again with a style you don’t like, then wait for someone you do want to interact with. If you don’t like the way your thread is going, message the other writer and discuss it. Express your concerns. If you can’t work it out, try again with someone else.

    A final thought. The more effort you put into preparing to do a story, the more likely you will get a response and the more likely it will be a success and not fizzle out after a couple of posts.

    If you need any more advice, by all means send me a PM and I’ll try to help.

    Poppy

     "'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly."

    i am baby blue and i am proud to be owned by Sapphire Storm

    #133465
    kandijayne
    Participant

    Poppy, as someone who’s much newer than you on this site – I’ve so far only RP’d in groups, not M&R –  I’d say this is all good, sound advice; very helpful for us newbies. I’d just like to add one thing from my own experience. Resist the temptation to play the other participant’s character in your post as well as your own character, however much you think it would progress the thread. If in doubt, message the other player and agree something with them. I made that mistake and was very gently reprimanded by the other player. Lesson learned! Good communication is the key, isn’t it|?

    I'm a damsel in distress, not a damsel in dat dress

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by kandijayne.
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    #133467
    poppy
    Participant

    Kandi,

    I tried to couch my advice in very general terms. You are so very right about communication. The point about playing any other character than your own or going any further than the other player has led you is very much something for the pre-start discussion. Some are strict on it and others can prefer a more relaxed free-flowing thread.

    Poppy

     "'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly."

    i am baby blue and i am proud to be owned by Sapphire Storm

    5 users thanked author for this post.
    #133762
    Alison Anderson
    Participant

    Great info, Poppy.  When I first started here about 12 years ago, there were some great posts by Melissa along with captions by Ren that talked about many of the points you indicated.  I checked both pages that I saved as well as pages saved by the wayback machine (internet archive), but I could not find these pages.  I recall the etiquette one was a bit tricky to find and I don’t remember exactly where it was.  But while the forums were saved, the threads within them may or may not get saved.  I can’t promise but I may continue to try to find these, or perhaps Melissa has these archived on her machines in a form she can get to them.

    In addition to Pvt, some threads say by invitation only or invite only, another indication not to intervene.

    By the way, something weird is happening with this thread.  It claims to be under the Discussions forum.  But when I look in that forum, this thread is not there.  I had seen it there earlier today.  I was forced to log on and it lost the page, and I couldn’t find it under Discussions.  But I found it via my history.

    5 users thanked author for this post.
    #133860
    Trixie Truheart
    Participant

    Poppy, as someone who’s much newer than you on this site – I’ve so far only RP’d in groups, not M&R – I’d say this is all good, sound advice; very helpful for us newbies. I’d just like to add one thing from my own experience. Resist the temptation to play the other participant’s character in your post as well as your own character, however much you think it would progress the thread. If in doubt, message the other player and agree something with them. I made that mistake and was very gently reprimanded by the other player. Lesson learned! Good communication is the key, isn’t it|?

    Yes Kandijayne, it is so easy to make this mistake (I have). When this mistake is made…as you have so accurately said “lesson learned,” you have just become a better writer not only for yourself, but for your partner as well. Better writing attracts more readers. And in knowing that we have interested readers, that spurs us on to write better stories. And this is where the fun begins…

    Thank you for your wonderful insight Kandijayne.

    TC

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    #133989
    Wyoh Knott
    Participant

    Poppy thanks for starting this thread and your awesome advice.  Kandi’s and Trixie’s comments and advice are also spot on.

    I am going to add my 2 cents worth here that also may help newcomers as well.

    As you are reading the ‘stories’ don’t be afraid to check out the writer’s profiles as well.  If you like their writing, definitely thank the writers as Poppy suggests.  If you really like someone’s writing and think you might want to role play with that person, writing a Personal Message to the writer telling them what you like about their writing will also get you on the other player’s ‘radar’ so to speak.  Normally a person will respond to such a message acknowledging your input and thanking you as well.  It is easy from there to respond to them and suggest a possible collaboration.  Don’t forget to request to become their “Friend” as well.  This is a lot like networking in the real world.

    Hope everyone takes this as a suggestion, not gospel.  Have fun everyone.

    _

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    #134841
    Alison Anderson
    Participant

    A little bit of archeology on the internet archives (archive.org, or the wayback machine) goes a long way. I found a single saving of a summary post by Glenda from October 2013 which pointed to Melissa’s essay on Role-Play Etiquette from 2006 which had been saved multiple times. The flash video in Glenda’s post and Renee’s pictures from Melissa’s post were not preserved.  I have tried twice to recreate these posts here, but they failed with no error messages, and quietly deleted my work (the second time I did save all my edits).  The link in Glenda’s post points to Melissa’s essay, so there is no need to follow that link.  Note that there are places in Melissa’s essay where the text is intentionally white text on a white background so as to hide the text unless you select it with a mouse (or a long click on devices that were not invented when the post was originally made 😉 )

    Sorry I am unable to reproduce them here, but you can follow the archived links above.  Thank you Poppy for rediscovering these principles the hard way.

    5 users thanked author for this post.
    #134848
    poppy
    Participant

    Thank you Poppy for rediscovering these principles the hard way.

    I think it must be something to do with my sub nature. One of the most frequent comments that crops up in both discussions and questions is either how to get started or to ask why there have been no replies. I have tried to answer some in the past but got fed up with writing the same thing. The other one I have had PM’s about is a new member writes a post. Then a more experienced one just starts replying and then it fizzles after a couple of posts because the new member doesn’t like it. I think it is worth remembering that even the experienced writers should message first rather than diving in.

    So how did I come up with it. Trial and error really. As I said my sub side sort of told me I should find out rather than having someone serve me by giving it to me. lol

    The other “factor” was really Miss Luzette who does so much to start people off. I was getting frustrated with the way things went when she “noticed” me and messaged. It was also through that first thread that I came to understand that it is about co-writing and you are not only writing for yourself but also your co-writer. And I suppose if you get it right, for the entertainment of others.

    Poppy

     

     "'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly."

    i am baby blue and i am proud to be owned by Sapphire Storm

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #134987
    The Hired Help
    Participant

    As some one who plays Table Top Roleplaying games ((think Dungeons and Dragons)), it is true what Poppy says. Even in TTRPG, you are a co author of what is happening, and the main thing that players in any type of Roleplaying, is to make sure everyone have fun. Let me repeat that, it is your job to make sure everyone has fun. If your thoughtful enough to make sure everyone is having fun then you should also be having fun, it is hard to not have fun, when your trying to make sure the other people are also having fun. That should be rule zero for any game, or story telling activity.

    Anyways I would like your opinion on something, Poppy. I am not submissive enough to play a sissy for more then one thread, and Im not dominate enough to force others to do my bidding for a whole thread. I have the idea to be well as the name suggests the hired help. Some one who comes in and helps out a story for a short time, but isn’t the main two players. How do I go about helping others out with this idea, in your opinion?

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    #134989
    poppy
    Participant

    Anyways I would like your opinion on something, Poppy. I am not submissive enough to play a sissy for more then one thread, and I’m not dominate enough to force others to do my bidding for a whole thread. I have the idea to be well as the name suggests the hired help. Some one who comes in and helps out a story for a short time, but isn’t the main two players. How do I go about helping others out with this idea, in your opinion?

    First off, I am no “expert” nor am I one of the old hands here. Secondly, everyone is different. In my view there are no “types” of people. Some may seem similar but everyone will have their own view or their own point of view.

    Bearing that in mind, several questions spring to mind. I think you do need to ask yourself why you are here and what you want to get out of it. If it is an interest in Femdom then perhaps it is the right place. If you do not feel that either Dominance or submission is your thing, then perhaps there might be places where you will find more fulfillment.

    It would be very difficult to “help” in a one on one thread. There are some threads which have more than 2 participants. But even in those, there tends to be a split between the Dominant and submissive players.

    Having said that, the site is about Femdom fiction and writing stories. You do not have to be either Dominant or submissive to do that. It is after all just writing and not RL action. I am deeply submissive and in RL, I am owned. I have done and am still doing threads in the Dom role. They are probably slightly different from what others would write including a true Dominant. However I think there is probably more difference between a feminine and male mind writing than there is between a Dominant and submissive one.

    Perhaps you should bear in mind your own words of wisdom. If your thoughtful enough to make sure everyone is having fun then you should also be having fun. In other words, you don’t have to be Dominant or submissive to write a good story. In reality you just need to understand what makes a good Dominant or submissive to write their characters.

    Poppy

     "'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly."

    i am baby blue and i am proud to be owned by Sapphire Storm

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #135391
    Alison Anderson
    Participant

    Not every thread has to be highly dominant/highly submissive.  I have done many intros where once the new hire has reached a point of no return anyway, I will soften up and apologize but say I had no choice or I would have been punished.  So I quickly befriend the new hire instead of dominate them, or at least soften what needs to be done.  But you can have shopping threads, or having a meal or a walk in the park where you’re friends rather than dom/sub.  Or you can have a rivalry with someone else and play practical jokes on each other, so you both get a turn at topping the other.  Or you can have a scene where you may dom by suggesting some activity (perhaps sexual) and the other player can accept, reject, or modify, just as in real life.  We used to have party threads (Christmas, or Halloween, or a summer barbecue) where many people are playing all at once, with occasional break-out threads.  We used to have a player who would act as a councilor for girls who may be having a hard time adjusting to the life at M&R.  Jacqueline used to be a bar tender at Lacy Place, so there was more social interaction rather than dom/sub.

    The forced fem is only a launching point or background setting for story telling and role playing.  Where you take it is entirely up to you.  Don’t fell hemmed in to only tell stories one way.

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    #135716
    the Morrigan
    Participant

    Anyways I would like your opinion on something, Poppy. I am not submissive enough to play a sissy for more then one thread, and I’m not dominate enough to force others to do my bidding for a whole thread. I have the idea to be well as the name suggests the hired help. Some one who comes in and helps out a story for a short time, but isn’t the main two players. How do I go about helping others out with this idea, in your opinion?

    Having said that, the site is about Femdom fiction and writing stories …



    @babyblue
    Actually, the site is about sissification fiction and role play. While this may (and often does, and often should) both include and focus on Femdom content, it need not do so. Please take a look at my own contributions here, and those of John Strong and several other players of male characters. Male-on-sissy interactions might not be for every player here (I know that well because I’ve been turned down by several players I’d have enjoyed dominating strictly due to my character’s gender, and that’s fine), but that does not invalidate them.



    @pontus
    If you don’t feel dominant enough to dominate another player for a full thread, but don’t feel submissive enough to play through more than one thread, maybe you should consider just asking other dominant or submissive characters who are playing (or starting role plays) if you can play a supporting role. You could also suggest to players who are doing makeovers, which are generally fairly short RPs, whether you could play the role of “beautician” for them. This requires some dominance (to keep the new sissy in line) and a lot of submission, at least when dealing with dominants who may be accompanying sissies to their first makeovers, but doesn’t really require either for very long. Or you might consider playing over at Lacy Place; the D/s content over there, though still present, seems, at least to this outsider, to be a bit less … obtrusive.

    For everyone, the rest of the advice given here, especially poppy’s, has mostly been excellent. The only thing I would add is that, for your introductory topic here, you should find an active player whose style you like and ask that person to play with you before starting an intro topic, and then, after getting his or her agreement and discussing your needs and desires with the player, note in the topic title that it’s PVT or PRIVATE for that player.

    Creating an “open” induction story and then hoping you’ll meet someone whose style you like is kind of like playing the Powerball. You might win the $20 gazillion grand prize, but it’s far more likely you’ll lose your two dollars and never get anything out of it. The chance that you’re going to find a player that way whose style you like and who’s going to understand where you want to go with your story and who’s going to respect your boundaries is about as likely as your being the sole multi-bazillion dollar Powerball winner. So don’t take the chance of making your first role play here something that’s either unsatisfying or traumatic. Do some research, find someone whose writing you like, DISCUSS the story you want to play ahead of time, and THEN proceed. You’ll be much happier if you do.

    And all of us Melandren dominants want our subbies to be happy right? Right?!!? 😉

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    #140339
    The Hired Help
    Participant

    Been thinking about this a lot. There are three rules to consider when role-playing. No matter if its play by post/email, play by voice program, tabletop play or other.

     

    Rule zero. Always make sure the other person has fun.

    Rule one: Always move the plot ahead.

    Rule two: Never play the other peoples characters.

     

     

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    #140340
    poppy
    Participant

    Been thinking about this a lot. There are three rules to consider when role-playing. No matter if its play by post/email, play by voice program, tabletop play or other.

    Rule zero. Always make sure the other person has fun.

    Rule one: Always move the plot ahead.

    Rule two: Never play the other peoples characters.

    Many here would disagree with your rule one. It is the dominant player who moves the plot ahead and controls it. The submissive player responds to it. 😉

     "'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly."

    i am baby blue and i am proud to be owned by Sapphire Storm

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    #140348
    The Hired Help
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>
    Rule one: Always move the plot ahead.</p>
     

    Can also be stated
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Rule one: Dont make the plot grind to a halt.</p>
     

    For as long as you as a submissive player respond in a way that gives the dominant player info to keep the plot moving, while not actively moving the plot forward your still keeping the momentum of the plot going forward.

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    #141920
    Lydia
    Participant

    Hey Gurls, an interesting thread with many interesting points!  Lots of Vocal Voices with Valid opinions, or perspective.

    Don’t agree that a dominant in a story should always lead though, personally i find that lazy on the Subs part.  Its a mutual writing affair right & there are ways to have a submissive character still yet assert her/his writing or lead the story even in a subtle manner?

    I have a submissive/switch primary Character & the Stories i tend to involve myself in have me as the Domme on more then one occasion.  I quickly tire when my Sub only responds or reacts.  Why is it you think i should Direct the whole Story?  Why is it you think i only live to serve your interest or kinks that you barely disclose?  Honestky,as a human being & a Player, please be more forwith coming…

    Below, a guide to my Style for RP & Strategy…

     

    Hey Gurls, a truly interesting thre☛ RP Pointers!

    In Response, i always Employ The Rule of Three! Spoken, Action & Thought. Each has their own Purpose/Role.

    Spoken! We`re very much Verbal Communicators, so this may be an obvious one but Conversation can take us many ways. Don t always leave it to your Play Partner to Provide Direction. Assert yourself [at times] & give a little more Sense of where you may wish to go. Like a Game of Tennis, if you merely Respond, then the ball barely makes it back over the net! Provide a little more Colour & you Partner will reach a little further!

    Action! This can be Passive, Neutral or Aggressive! Sometimes a mere Body Language Movement can Provide so much Input for your Thread Buddy to react/Feed off. Whether it be a non-chalent brushing of ones hair, or a misplaced Hand! The outcome can often lead to more & with a Sympathetic Writing Buddy can be a lot of Fun!

    Thoughts! We can t read them but they Provide Insight into what you re Feeling/doing, aswell as Fleshing Out/Colouring the Post. I m something of a Broadcaster myself! ~Blush I always write my Thoughts but this is a Game of exactly that, emotional/internal Landscapes & Thoughts & Feelings! Want to remain 2D, then don t bother!

    Lastly, theres the Come-Back Sweep So you Respond, you supply a little more Input on the Main Subject, THEN you hit them up with a following/second Advance: Be it a Question or Statement or just some other Input that allows room for potential Exploration! Not only have you covered MAIN Base but you ve given an Olive Branch for Further Development to your overall Narrative/Story!

    Really, i don t mean to criticise but maybe give what I said some thought? ~Frown
    Remember, this is a Game of Words & Emotion! Theres nothing more disappointing then after having spent your Creative Efforts, your Time & your Empathy, to be met with a One Liner! I m more than Happy to Wait for a well thought out Response! Words are our Currency, would you Like to be Short Changed? ~Giggle

    Thanks for Reading!

     

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    #141934
    poppy
    Participant
    Hey Gurls, an interesting thread with many interesting points! Lots of Vocal Voices with Valid opinions, or perspective.

    Don’t agree that a dominant in a story should always lead though, personally i find that lazy on the Subs part. Its a mutual writing affair right & there are ways to have a submissive character still yet assert her/his writing or lead the story even in a subtle manner?

    I have a submissive/switch primary Character & the Stories i tend to involve myself in have me as the Domme on more then one occasion. I quickly tire when my Sub only responds or reacts. Why is it you think i should Direct the whole Story? Why is it you think i only live to serve your interest or kinks that you barely disclose? Honestky,as a human being & a Player, please be more forwith coming…

    Below, a guide to my Style for RP & Strategy…

    Hey Gurls, a truly interesting thre☛ RP Pointers!

    In Response, i always Employ The Rule of Three! Spoken, Action & Thought. Each has their own Purpose/Role.

    Spoken! We`re very much Verbal Communicators, so this may be an obvious one but Conversation can take us many ways. Don t always leave it to your Play Partner to Provide Direction. Assert yourself [at times] & give a little more Sense of where you may wish to go. Like a Game of Tennis, if you merely Respond, then the ball barely makes it back over the net! Provide a little more Colour & you Partner will reach a little further!

    Action! This can be Passive, Neutral or Aggressive! Sometimes a mere Body Language Movement can Provide so much Input for your Thread Buddy to react/Feed off. Whether it be a non-chalent brushing of ones hair, or a misplaced Hand! The outcome can often lead to more & with a Sympathetic Writing Buddy can be a lot of Fun!

    Thoughts! We can t read them but they Provide Insight into what you re Feeling/doing, aswell as Fleshing Out/Colouring the Post. I m something of a Broadcaster myself! ~Blush I always write my Thoughts but this is a Game of exactly that, emotional/internal Landscapes & Thoughts & Feelings! Want to remain 2D, then don t bother!

    Lastly, theres the Come-Back Sweep So you Respond, you supply a little more Input on the Main Subject, THEN you hit them up with a following/second Advance: Be it a Question or Statement or just some other Input that allows room for potential Exploration! Not only have you covered MAIN Base but you ve given an Olive Branch for Further Development to your overall Narrative/Story!

    Really, i don t mean to criticise but maybe give what I said some thought? ~Frown

    Remember, this is a Game of Words & Emotion! Theres nothing more disappointing then after having spent your Creative Efforts, your Time & your Empathy, to be met with a One Liner! I m more than Happy to Wait for a well thought out Response! Words are our Currency, would you Like to be Short Changed? ~Giggle

    Thanks for Reading!

    Thanks Lydia, I do not disagree with anything you say. I think it is more just a difference in the way we word things.

    Nobody or at least very few wish to co-write with a doormat. The person in the sub role does have to give good feedback and has to give something that the other player can work with. But I still think the Dominant role should direct the course of events. As a very good Dominant once told me in real life, the person who makes the decisions is the person in control.

    So yes the submissive can vocalise wishes, desires, suggestions but it should be the Dominant role who decides which should be used etc. It is fiction and it has to be for the benefit of both but if the submissive role player suddenly goes off in a new direction, they then start to be the Dominant player. Another reason why OOC discussions in PMs are so important. Within the roleplay it can also be communicated by actions such as resistance or even hinting at things.

    For instance a sub might be angry, might rant and rave etc. That can feel the play you suggest. However if they storm off, it makes it very difficult for the Dominant role to deal with.

    In the end, it does depend very much on the two writers, they have to make their own rapport if a line of play is to be successful for both of them.

    But I do very much strongly agree with one point you make. It is not the role of the “top” player to just write a story for the other person’s enjoyment. Hence my comment about people saying “Feminise me”. My answer to that is “Why should I?”

     

     "'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly."

    i am baby blue and i am proud to be owned by Sapphire Storm

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #141982
    Lydia
    Participant

    Interesting: So WHO is this Dominant in your life?  Want to freely share? ~Wink

    I’ve Played @Lacy for a number of years.  We have Professions & i chose Receptionist for a few reasons.  Not only because i am gregarious but because it actually welcomes players onto the site & suits my overall disposition.  I did not have tuition or instruction but am entirely self learned!  If you could, maybe you should read my earliest threads [some were terrible] but hey, everyone else was just posting to get their rocks off!   Its  trylu great LOL

     

    Should i be blamed…maybe…but if there was a thread like this that existed before, i would be better equipped. Thus the reason i wrote my own RP Strategy to help Newbs!  Its truly great players want to meet up & collaborate!  Swapping ideas is the best of friends! ~Wink

     

    Fond Huggles to All

    -Lydia

     

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    #142209
    poppy
    Participant

    Interesting: So WHO is this Dominant in your life? Want to freely share? ~Wink

    Fond Huggles to All

    -Lydia

    There’s no secret. She is at the bottom of all my posts. 😉

    She also used to run an online Academy for subs and several Femdom groups.

    Huggles back

    Poppy

     "'Will you walk into my parlour?' said the Spider to the Fly."

    i am baby blue and i am proud to be owned by Sapphire Storm

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    #142383
    Tifa Lunaria
    Participant

    A lot of valid points have been raised here. I’d like to just chime in and say that Poppy(@babyblue) is an amazing co-writer. I’m super happy that I’ve been able to work with her and if any of you have the opportunity I’d highly recommend it. She knows how to lead a story and take it in fun and surprising directions that are satisfying for both writers while allowing the sub enough control to not feel like they’re simply along for the ride.

    *respectful hugs and kisses for everyone*

    A tiny cock should be locked and mocked. Just like mine!

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by Tifa Lunaria.
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