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'Real Life' conversations

Viewing 30 posts - 1 through 30 (of 43 total)
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  • #74517
    Veronica
    Participant

    Hello Everyone,

    I have been thinking about starting a group or a thread dedicated to the subject of our real lives.  A similar type of thread existed a couple of LiL generations back.  As a terrified trans-woman, who was beginning to come to terms with who she was, I found those conversations amazingly helpful, and sometimes a bit frightening.  I saw recounts of trans-folk living their lives and their worlds not collapsing around them. It made me question whether the belief I held that I could never publicly transition and that my gender identity would always be my huge dark secret.  I also saw stories in that thread of people who had lost family and friends when they transitioned.  Those stories made me realize that I couldn’t control people’s actions and that some of my extended ‘family’ may choose not to transition with me.

    I see this conversation as one that could encompass things like:

    1. Your story.  I’ve found over the years that many of us have similar stories (and similar fears).  It helps to hear from others.
    2. Questions about transition – HRT, GCS, legal name and gender marker changes, etc.  The landscape can be confusing, and there are plenty if ‘pundits’ telling you what you ‘need’ to do.
    3. “How do you deal with” types of questions.
    4. Additionally, this could be a place to identify some available resources for trans-folk who are considering transition.

    I don’t see this conversation as one that talks about sexual exploits and desires.  There are a ton of places on LiL that that satisfy that need.

    So here are my questi0ns for you all.

    Is this something in which you would be interested?  (Either as an active participant or as a ghost. I ghosted the old thread for a long time before I stepped out into the light.)

    If it is a conversation that you are interested in having, do you think it should be here in the forums, or set up in a group?

    Roni

    • This topic was modified 11 months, 4 weeks ago by Veronica.
    #74564
    Jacqueline
    Moderator

    I think that is a great idea Roni. Many of us have shared our thoughts and lives with others, including you and I. A group or topic on this would be both fun and empowering. We are who we are, and sharing with others would be a good thing.

    10 users thanked author for this post.
    #74607
    Stina
    Participant

    Hi Veronica
    That is a wonderful idea. I`d be glad to participate in such a projct 🙂
    I would suggest to set up a group for the purpose – and I think only group members should be able to acces the forum. We are supposed to talk about private stuff, after all.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #74797
    Veronica
    Participant

    Hey Stina,

    How about two areas?  One that is confidential and only open to “screened” members and the other which is anyone welcome?  For those folks struggling with the question of who they are and what is really possible, I think having an open forum would be helpful (it was for me!).   I also acknowledge that not everyone is where I am at the moment.  (Out in all aspects of my life, and living female 24/7)   I remember how frightened I was that someone would somehow find out!  If we set up a group that is open but restrict access to certain parts of that group … does that work?

    Jaqs,

    Is it possible to restrict threads so that only accepted folks can participate?  In other words,  is it even possible to configure a group like the one I’m proposing above?

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #74875
    Alison Anderson
    Participant

    Roni,

    As a big contributor to the Real Life Adventures forum on the previous version of LiL, both as an advisor and a contributor, I am very much in favor of a group here. I hope it will be open to those who cross dress and go out in public but have no plans for transitioning, since we face many of the same concerns, and many that are different.

    There are private groups here where you must request membership to join. I just wonder if that will make things safer or not. Someone has to administer the group membership, and there is no way to know if someone joins, doesn’t contribute, and then takes this info out into the world anyway. You saw how a troll recently entered LiL to scam people. By what criteria are you going to accept or reject membership? If you want this to be a learning experience to those who “ghost”, and don’t provide the ghost’s membership, then they can’t learn.

    Whatever you decide is fine by me.  I just want you to think about the implications of the private group.

     

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #74889
    Veronica
    Participant

    Allison,

    First off, if you were part of the group two generations back, then you likely had a huge impact on my journey.  Thank you!

    My first thought was that the forum should be public and open to anyone who wants to contribute.  Stina’s comment got me thinking, and I was trying to figure out if it was possible, or even desirable, to host two adjacent discussions, one that is public, and another that is more restrictive.  My biggest concern about a private thread is that the folks who most need to see our stories are not likely to request an invitation.    Also, to be honest, I don’t want to be playing gate-keeper, and I pretty much suck at that job.

    With regards to the question of crossdressers participating, I can’t think of a single reason why they should not.  Actually, I would hope that we would also hear from non-binary, gender-fluid, a-gender, gender non-conforming, and others as well.  Our tribe is amazingly diverse, and pretty fricken amazing when you start looking at it.

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    #74956
    Melissa
    Keymaster

    Hugely supportive of this.  Please feel free to reach out if you need anything.

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    #75087
    Stina
    Participant

    Hi Veronica 🙂
    I think two forums would be too confusing – and as Allison points out: how Secure would they be? This is the internet, after all.

    I also like the idea of newbies being able to ask and learn about the Real life side of things 🙂

    I guess I would parricipate in an Opel group as well… perhaps being a little more carefull with what I would write of the really personal stuff.

    Hugs
    Stina

    #78639
    Stina
    Participant

    Hi Veronica 🙂

    Did you decide to go on with your idea about creating a group/forum for the sharing of real life experiences?

    Hugs
    Stina 🙂

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #80936
    Alison Anderson
    Participant

    Stina, I have created a group The Real You along with an opening couple of posts.  Feel free to join the group and add your own posts.

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #86895
    Veronica
    Participant

    Allison,

    Thank you for following up on this.  I put this out there and then vanished for weeks.  I’d returned today with the intent of ‘doing something’.  I’ll post my own entry into the group.

    Roni

    #87012
    Veronica
    Participant

    Stina,

    I got wrapped up in the real world for a bit, and also got stuck when trying to think about how to introduce the group.  Allison took the reigns and started the group.  I recently added a thread to it.  Please consider joining as well and contributing in whatever way you are comfortable.

    Roni

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #88259
    Veronica
    Participant

    Hello all,

    Just thought I would provide a link to the new group.  If you’re interested in sharing, or just want to check out what people are up to out in the real world, check it out.

    Click here:

    Deviant Art by Arina-Sayk

     

    (Also, thought I would bump this up so that new folks would see it.)

    • This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by Veronica. Reason: Add link to picture
    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #88357
    Shannon
    Participant

    Love this idea.  I’ll be joining and participating.  🙂

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #89849
    Veronica
    Participant

    Shameless bumping of this thread …

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #92407
    Veronica
    Participant

    bumping the thread again.

    I’m not certain if it’s useful to bump this or not.  My thought is that it provides a link to the group for girls that are new to the site, or who have not visited OOC recently.  If you have inputs on that, please share them.

    Roni

    • This reply was modified 9 months ago by Veronica.
    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #92580
    Shannon
    Participant

    In the hope that more girls are compelled to post in this group, I think it’s fine to bump it every now and again.

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #92728
    AlexV
    Participant

    It (bumping) is useful, I just saw the thread. 🙂

    I am not trans, but do have a somewhat unorthodox view of the world. I believe that we are all unique and are here, now, as we are, for a specific reason and that we all have a story to tell. I listen and I learn.

    It would be my pleasure to join this group.  I will participate and offer my crazy perspective when asked. The only warning I give is that I can be brutally honest and people who are not open to different points of view get offended. Thank you.

    a

    • This reply was modified 9 months ago by AlexV.
    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #94427
    Shannon
    Participant

    Looking forward to this Saturday, 9/14, when I’ll be going back to my support group and then probably out with some girls for a drink afterwards.  It’s been a long summer!

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #101867
    Veronica
    Participant

    <p style=”padding-left: 40px;”>It’s been a while.  Time for a little  … bump.</p>

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #105099
    Veronica
    Participant

    It’s nearly Halloween.  I’m hearing things go ‘ bump‘ in the night.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #105158
    Jacqueline
    Moderator

    Trick or Treat

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #105192
    Nica
    Participant

    It’s nearly Halloween. I’m hearing things go ‘ bump‘ in the night.

    I think you mean ‘hump’

    My name is Veronica and I do what I am told.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #105415
    Jacqueline
    Moderator

    I think you mean ‘hump’[/quote]

    Giggle.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #106048
    Veronica
    Participant

    Trick or Treat

    Sis, you know me.  I’ll always take the trick.  Who knows what might show.

    I think you mean ‘hump’

    Gawd, I wish.

    #106085
    Jacqueline
    Moderator

    Me too. Always.

    #110147
    Veronica
    Participant

    TDoR, and time to refresh this conversation.  I hope you all are well!

    Much Love

    Veronica

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #110356
    Jacqueline
    Moderator

    I’m doing well. I hope you are too. Happy holidays.

    #110401
    Veronica
    Participant

    Sis, live is an amazing gift, and  I’m reminded of that everyday.  I miss you if I weren’t so busy, I’d more time here. (  I also miss our dear sister)

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #111025
    Julia83
    Participant

    Hello Everyone,

    I have been thinking about starting a group or a thread dedicated to the subject of our real lives. A similar type of thread existed a couple of LiL generations back. As a terrified trans-woman, who was beginning to come to terms with who she was, I found those conversations amazingly helpful, and sometimes a bit frightening. I saw recounts of trans-folk living their lives and their worlds not collapsing around them. It made me question whether the belief I held that I could never publicly transition and that my gender identity would always be my huge dark secret. I also saw stories in that thread of people who had lost family and friends when they transitioned. Those stories made me realize that I couldn’t control people’s actions and that some of my extended ‘family’ may choose not to transition with me.

    I see this conversation as one that could encompass things like:

    1. Your story. I’ve found over the years that many of us have similar stories (and similar fears). It helps to hear from others.
    2. Questions about transition – HRT, GCS, legal name and gender marker changes, etc. The landscape can be confusing, and there are plenty if ‘pundits’ telling you what you ‘need’ to do.
    3. “How do you deal with” types of questions.
    4. Additionally, this could be a place to identify some available resources for trans-folk who are considering transition.

    I don’t see this conversation as one that talks about sexual exploits and desires. There are a ton of places on LiL that that satisfy that need.

    So here are my questi0ns for you all.

    Is this something in which you would be interested? (Either as an active participant or as a ghost. I ghosted the old thread for a long time before I stepped out into the light.)

    If it is a conversation that you are interested in having, do you think it should be here in the forums, or set up in a group?

    Roni

    Looking for a female dominant who will not take any nonesense but will be kind and caring where it is required. To create the ultimate sexy secretary.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
Viewing 30 posts - 1 through 30 (of 43 total)

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