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Maidenhead – Discussion, Corrections and Input

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  • #76610
    Melissa
    Keymaster

    I would love your input, feedback and any grammar, format or minor corrections for the eventual ‘novel’ form of this story. Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed, please let me know.

    Click here to read Maidenhead.

    • This topic was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Melissa.
    7 users thanked author for this post.
    #76711
    drazi
    Participant
    This reply has been set as private.
    #76713
    Melissa
    Keymaster

    Pages 1-9 are the TOC, foreword and dedication when in book form.  I did not post them as it did not make much sense in the proof copy I’m releasing.

    I can change the names, but it would have to be done manually on each one as that is the stupid output that the layout program uses.  I’ll see if there’s a way to adjust.

     

    #76868
    drazi
    Participant

    Pages 1-9 are the TOC, foreword and dedication when in book form.  I did not post them as it did not make much sense in the proof copy I’m releasing.

     

    I thought it might be something like that.

     

    Thanks!

    #82501
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I just read the first chapter. i do not know how well I will be able to accurately give you feedback on story beats and things like that. one thing that was painfully aware to me while reading it, was that you did not mention Marks cock until after he had came. Or at least, it didn’t seem like you wanted to draw attention to that, more of a feeling of wet softness between his legs full of desire and building pleasure.

    I. Absolutely, could not get enough of the details. I was lost in them like lacy found her self lost in the petticoats. everything was building on one another till I could almost picture my self in her outfit. Except, I’m not lacy, I’m Jenni. and I want to point that out, because while reading your story I could feel so many related feelings to her and marks plight.

    That struggle of wanting to be a man, but than that feeling.. that voice in your head that pushes those buttons you wish were not there. but if someone presses them, you feel like that. It’s a strange thing, I don’t know how to explain it, even though you wrote it in that story and it voiced so many of my own feelings during those intense moments where you feel like that helpless, submissive girl.

    If I close my eyes.. if I do everything just right, i think i could get swallowed up by that feeling and wouldn’t know how to call Jeremy back up into the light. that is, in my own head space. I don’t have the privacy mark does and I could soooo understand the embarrassment of not being seen like that. I love public humiliation and it would press so many buttons hard. but for me, i would have to do it with someone I cared for deeply. I would have to feel safe, and even then I would still feel like mark does. It’s so bizarre to see that written here, because I feel like i’m lying to my self some times when I say I love public humiliation, but than.. i wouldn’t want to go out in public. I get it of course, i have to feel safe so i can relax and lose my self. but.. still. It feels like a contradiction.

    The tiny pad locks. ughn. the little padding of the locks against her heels. the click clack of her heels. I could feel her legs in those heels, that little tap on her angle.. the weight. fuck. that got into my head and kind of stayed there. I don’t know why, i think honestly.. it felt like i was drawn in while reading her description, sight, smell, sound.. and then the tap of those locks. i could feel the weight, the touch.. my toes are still curling at the thought. to feel trapped.

    Speaking of trapped, the key! oh my god.. the double key! the blackmail, the icy tone in her voice. why.. why.. why! do I want a caring wife that understood, but some how understood so much she would be evil to the core to me? some reason, for me to kick and scream, or stand there like a child throwing a fit and unsure of how to handle my self, but her to stay cool and in control. wow. that feeling between them, that trust.. even with what happened at the end, and again.. it’s just chapter one, i have no idea how it would resolve or how much more it will get worse(better for him?) for mark.. but, ughn.. that look on her face. that’s an O face!

    She has to do this now with out that arrousal, MARK has to do it… there’s the big kicker for the forced femme. and i kind of hope that’s what her plan was. maybe more, i don’t know, maybe she just likes having a sissy maid under her control and still loves him, but feels he’s not up to snuff as a husband any more. maybe she see’s him differently now. but.. if she’s doing this to really make this forced femme, that’s one way to go about it! he’s stuck in the dress, she spanked him like she knew he would hate. she made his breath smell like cum, she made HIM smell like cum.. now she’s going to leave him in that dress for the rest of the night and serve a stranger! A stranger that mark does not want him seeing him like this, and the bimbo who did is no where to be found.

    Shooot.. I should have read this sooner. I knew it was going to be in my wheel house, but.. i didn’t think it was going to make me think about all of the details, the little things that draw me in when i post or try to feel like Jenni. That was lacy in the outfit, mark doing the chores he hated just to feel like lacy. but.. that’s how i’ve approached jenni. just, with out the first step of having buttons to press like that.

    ugh.. i could keep going. but, thank you for letting me read that. I can’t offer criticism on the punctuation of sentence structure, I’m not that great at it my self, so wrong tree to bark up at. But, i can at least tell you, you made me feel like jenni in a petticoat maids uniform, and i don’t like petticoats.

    My name is jenni and I do what I am told.

     

     

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    #82566
    Bethanise
    Participant

    I just sat and read the whole thing. I couldn’t stop. You’ve got a wonderful story going here, and I, for one, can’t wait to see how it turns out!

    I really don’t have any criticisms about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. TBH, I’ve seen horribly edited stuff published in Amazon. Your work

    is highly superior.

    But it’s the story that hooked me. The slow but inevitable build up that pulled me along. I can feel Miss Trisha’s hesitation at first, her growing acceptance,

    then embrace of the power that Mark unknowingly offered her. This party that seems to be only building and building has left me nearly weeping for more.

    Please continue, Miss Melissa! I can’t wait!

    My name is beth and I do as I’m told.

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #82642
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I just read chapter two… I find it difficult to say something worth while, with out it sounding like I’m just gushing to flatter you. I want to tell you something that I do not like about it, but.. maybe it’s my state of mind or something else, but i can’t. Not that I ever really find something that I just outright hate in your stories, it’s just that If I find something in them I don’t care for, it’s just because I don’t understand the kink behind it or possible the motivation for it. Otherwise it always serves the story in some way.

    For this one, you have really created something that feels like you have taken a dream or fantasy I’ve had at one time or another and than wrote it out on this page. the little convo with the wife, I’ve had that one in my head more times than I can count. it was always so close to being a disaster, but than.. something happens it seems too good to be true.

    the man coming in and the wife taking control like she did, that would be the worse part usually. but it taking a year to do.. ugh.. That she has to work in that maid uniform and than have his wife Tricia do this to him? Such a betrayal, but not so bad that he couldn’t recover so far.  it would be the most exciting pushed past your limits, weak knee’ed, sick to my stomach moment I could think of. if after such an event, it was revealed that this is just the next step of my training and it was all in control by her, gah! I would lose my mind!

    I can not thank you enough for your descriptions here where he’s “used”. they talk, they mingle, they took his house over and made him serve. He doesn’t know him, he’s leered at and treated like a pretty little thing to laugh at. He has to obey… But once he’s out of the room, he can stomp and cry and vent.. oh my god, I want to do that in my role play here. But, I also don’t want to go so far that it gets me into serious trouble. I want to be mocked for it. called on my little girly behavior. for my eyes to run like hers.. ughn..

    oh gosh, i could get lost in this. When I say i wanted to be a background character, this is what i meant. I’m the star in my head, but i’m second to the convo they would be having or what i would have to go do for them. Finishing chores and the like, or taking notes or making coffee. etc.

     

    The little glimpse of where this all started was wonderful. So sexy, but so innocent compared to where we are now. It makes me wonder, how much of this was already in her head? I feel like she has a bigger plan in mind here than just taking his fantasy to the nth degree. I think Mark/lacy is screwed and is going to wind up her full time sissy maid, while she gets a new hubby or something like that. But, that’s just after chapter two.

    oh god.. this whole post could just gush about the wine glass and it’s shaking! or her little foot stomp, or.. oh gosh.. the way she heaved her chest in the mirror and cried like a little girl. If someone reading my post hasn’t read the story yet, you need too!

    I put it off because I knew that between this, my role play and the chastity series.. ugh.. i was going to have an overload of feminization. and you know what? It’s happening. last night I had a dream about self Chasity and getting caught to the point you couldn’t cum while stuck in a situation. It was just being pulled over by an officer and than taken into jail, nothing really femme.. but the feelings were there. It felt like if i didn’t keep waking up restless, it would have went that way eventually. And the last thing I read was chapter one… it was still in my head in the morning and now I have more to live through. more to put my self in her locked heels and corset.

    Damn it.. i don’t want to plan things for my self here, i want to be surprised.. but shoot, if someone put me through these things in the roleplay proper, i would not be upset. lol

     

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #82670
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I absolutely could not wait for the next chapter and I went ahead and read it. I don’t regret it, but.. I’ll get back to you on that.

    Oh my freaking gawd! I’m so twisted.. I love, love.. love! how she was crying on the floor, I love! how she felt when he held her in her arms. how she failed on the floor after trying to run away like a sissy coward. oh my god! My mind is just.. ughn.. I’ve had a few stories where if I could control my dreams, (like that one technique you can learn) I would play them out and do that in my them.

    Your stories are usually at the very top, along with Trisha’s all or nothing universe.  the interactive office pool and just M&R life in general. but this one.. it’s all of your details! your descriptions of lacy’s plight and the way she feels, the way she feels in that outfit.. I can feel how it hugs her body, how soft and exposed she is. I am drowning in her own senses.

    and can I say… as much as I love her crying or her failing about after breaking the bottle. It’s the insistence that lacy eats her lunch on the patio. oh fuck. oh my hell.. It was rubbing it in, she was separating her! The help eats away from them, they eat and take care of them selves, but she is just the help.. a servant, lower than her. and in public!!! That reveal after the build up. I can’t explain to you how this feels, but I’ve been trying to explain it in my bell/remembering thread. It feels like.. if I just focused, I could just.. let go and not have to touch my self at all.

    I also love the flash backs to how she got here. Holy fuck, her making more money and just taking over. She’s got a plan for him and I am almost shaking in my heels right along side her. and I mean that, because I can picture how that must feel with the way you described it. oh gosh.. the pain she’s feeling. ughn… and that he’s so humiliated and actually hates it, but then.. something does trigger his arousal and it just.. that confusion is all too familiar. damn it, I feel manipulated right along side her!

    The only negative thing i can say about this, is that in the flash back with the shower, it was a little hard to read the text for me in the one see through word bubble.

    other than that, Get out of my freaking head! I feel like all of that is just falling into place to screw with me! ugh..

     

    my name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #82826
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I… am having a hard time trying to describe why I like this, besides the obvious bits in the story. In the Chasity series, it was the mistress of the story taking the reigns and letting us experience it from her perspective. here, it’s from Lacy/marks perspective, still a story told from a sissies perspective. of course that’s very common and almost all of the stories in this genre is written like that.

    It’s your story telling in general. All I wan to do is read this story and climax… But, like mark I am riding this line of submission, playing the game and than some how still feeling sane while doing all of that. it’s soo, sooo tricky. It’s not a bad thing at all, it’s all so much fun! Which, as serious as this is for mark, it still feels like a very, very, VERY kinky game.

    At this point it feels like Tricia just knows what pushes his buttons and is very good at pushing him well beyond what he thought was his limit. He’s experiencing the forced aspect and it feels real. So amazing to put that in there and make it seem like it possibly could happen. if it was ideal and someone was so lucky to have all of those pieces fall in place, like mark fell into Charles lap..

    The only thing that gives me pause and arouses me more, is the idea that she has an even bigger plan in store. I think, it’s entirety possible.. she wants him as the maid and nothing else. Maybe she doesn’t love him, but cares for him and the game. is aroused by it and wants to keep him. She’s in charge after all, she’s taken care of his sorry sissy ass and.. ugh.. gah!  I don’t want to just spout the sexiness, i want to take the story apart and really get into the power shift, the dynamic change in their relationship.

    the big one i think was when he lost his job and she made him feel like he didn’t need to be a bread winner when she did it all so much better than he did. He feels that way and than you can understand why.. it’s uneasy, but she manipulates it. something she has wanted out of him for a while.

    I have had such a long, long day. this was a wonderful escape. I want to read more, but… I will do my best tomorrow to try and dig down deep. It’s so hard to not gush on and on about the squirmy bits. I will say this, as bad as it gets for mark. I want to be in his heels sooo very badly.

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

     

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #82935
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I have finished the last two chapters. oh gosh Miss Daniels, I don’t know how long this story is supposed to be, but I feel like lacy and just want the world to stop a moment. The hobbled belt!? Naming him!? between that mans thighs and the beer blowing up in her face. holy..

     

    And that was mostly just the 6th chapter. I went through both this morning and there was so many delightfully squirmy things to enjoy. I can not tell you how much I love the idea of him being flashed like that. here at M&R we are all locked up of course, for our own good. But there’s rarely a moment to get a comment like that from one of the men. or to drool down to the floor from the tip…

    I don’t know what I like most though, I think.. I think it’s the fact that he’s lost all control and rights. Forced to eat out on the patio, forced to ask to enter or leave a room. Made to endure to listen to them while they talk and he just sits…

    And putting his make up in the guest room? the party!!? oh god.. this is pushing some buttons for me so much. It’s so very, very hard to get a group thread going where something like this happens and this is scratching that itch.

    I like corset play, but I rarely do it for the role play. It can get in the way of the outfits I get to wear and forces me to look for pics that might not lend them selfs well to the thread. but the idea of being shaped, being locked in tight and taking shallow, hard breaths. why on earth is his nonexistent chest heaving in that restrictive top so alluring. I just love that it’s his chest, but it makes him look like he has cleavage. It’s a strange feminine feeling, but a dark reminder that he’s a guy just like the boys gawking at him,

    Miss Sellers is such a icy cold force. I almost want to smack mark for trying to ruin the fun and all of the planing she’s put into this. But I know that if this was real, the thread of being kicked out, being really.. made.. to serve. at least in his mind at this moment. oh my god.

    And who is this new girl? My mind is swirling with how this is all going to end. Why do I think it’s going to end up with another lock to add to his outfit? One between his legs… Then the fun will never stop for lacy.

     

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    #82937
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I feel like I’m rambling off a greatest hits list for this, but I’m really trying to dive into the appeal and what you have crafted so far. But, unlike the Chasity series, I am already in lacy’s head constantly. I know what that feels like.. the only thing I can really add is that your story gives me pause to think more harshly towards the fantasies. I love it when it’s this bleak and hopeless, this cruel and mocking, yet so very, very sexy.

    I used to look for hours for captions or stories that even had a glimmer of how squirmy this story makes me. It got to the point where I just made my own and made peace with the fact that only a few really got the “forced” aspect. Your story here is one of a willing, begging slut of a sissy maid. but the situation and his character makes it just as squirmy as any tale where the boy is blackmailed or kidnapped and put into this world.

    it gives me butterflies to my stomach and something I haven’t felt in a while. It reminds me so much of some of the early feelings I had searching through this genre for hours every night. It’s filling me with giddy, nostalgic feelings of finding a story or site that made me think, “jackpot!” So many stories back on the Lycos groups of yore claimed to be forced femme, but ended with a smile or happy filling. I want to wriggle, writhe in discomfort. I want that burning humiliation to stick and sting. the sensation that it will not end and everything’s changed.

    You nailed that! You have giving me that feeling again and it’s great to find it here at my new hangout.

     

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #83661
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    Oh.. make up and a sissy maid cleaning in painful heels.. I shouldn’t swoon at that thought, but I do.

    You have captured that feeling I wanted to roleplay soooo well. I never got to play the maid or get to do that sort of feeling where I’m background fodder, just a pretty little thing flitting about while important people discuss or mock occasionally. I have that chance with the office stuff of course, but I do wish the M&R maid group had accepted me. I sent 3 requests and never got an approval. 😥  I kind of think they didn’t know I was a maid? Maybe because of my intro thread and all, but, i was pretty sure it said as much in my profile and that’s what i was sent here for.

    So, I’m glad I got to go over to the office. It’s been so much more exciting, including how I was brought over. But reading these pages, I do feel like cleaning… ugh.. 16 more chapters? how? He’s getting his make up done by a makeup artist!

    I love toni the most I think out of all the guests. She’s so blunt and in your face, she offers something different from the rest. One’s a flirt, one’s stern, and than toni is just whatever. She finds it amusing I assume, and she’s totally fine with what ever floats his boat. Hearing them talk I think would be the one I would want to hear most, besides him and Miss Sellers.

    i am so curious how she will look next, because she looked stunning before. and I can not, absolutely can not get over how you described her painful feet and the pad locks on her body. Loved every painful moment of it.. An aching reminder of what he wants, what he’s getting and what he’s stuck in. Making it all more of a chore than eroticism. I love that he reaches a point where even that is a turn on, despite his rational brain knowing better. That’s like me and my own fantasies. I don’t want to be treated less than a person, I don’t want all of my rights taken from me. But…. But. if you did that, if you put your foot down. *blush*

    Pushed past your limits, your comforts. only then can you really feel what it’s like, what you dreamed of. It’s just scary to think it might not stop. Could you deal with it? Could you live with it? It’s such a turn on, but the regret over what you have gotten your self into.. would that too be a turn on? or just sadness. would it become boring and frightful after a while? If the Mistress didn’t try to make it uncomfortable for you and you just did a set routine, i think it would ruin it. I think you would need to be constantly pushed to find any enjoyment, how ever unwanted, in your new situation. it’s a deliciously evil thought.. Push me harder so I don’t cry over what’s happening and how I’m stuck like this.

    Maybe she needs a Chasity cage to always enjoy it! but, than i think it would ruin part of the fun. I love, love love how she leaking and they can see her and her little friend. Fighting to keep her self aroused so she’s not just stuck with all of the guilt. I wonder if something like that would ever be allowed in M&R… Hmm… Probably not. but the humiliation of having it all laid bare, for real a sissy standing there in front of you, horny because of weeks or months of no climax, only arousal. Hard not to feel like your doing it to your self.

    Wonderful as always!

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

     

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #83793
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I was thinking on this and the chastity series today, and while I could be way, way off with how this is all going to wind up. But.. A “happy” ending for all of this, might be the reveal for lacy, that the wife is still playing the game. She’s just made the choice to make it full time for her. I mean, of course I could be wrong and Miss sellers has other plans and just intends to humiliate and enslave her husband, but it could also be that she just likes the idea of him as a maid far more than a husband. Still loves him, but thinks she’s giving him exactly what he wants.

    I know, i know, I’m kind of jumping the gun on endgames here and where it all may be heading. But, I can’t help but put my feet in her painful heels and wonder where it’s all leading. I like the thought that she still loves him and is just ramping up the game, making it feel so much more real.

    Also, I noticed one thing that keeps happening through out all of his interactions as lacy. He keep’s making it about him self and getting lost in his fantasy, only to lose interest once he cums and she hasn’t had any fun. Maybe this is payback? or maybe this is an effort to keep the fun going indefinitely?

    When he first got the maids uniform, he came too soon and lost the taste for the RP. He than didn’t finish the chores list and even fell asleep after he came once again. Part of it is.. not his fault? Since he just gets too worked up. IT’s kind of cute in a way. But, if i was Miss Sellers, if I was the domme.. I would think I would be upset that she’s taken that bit of fun out of my hands. So this promise of a photo could be to cement she does what she is told? oh my god.. if you capture lacy’s O face on film…

    The only thing I’m curious about and don’t have an answer for, is why there are other people at her house. Besides to help keep her there and make it humilaiting/stimulating. I get why toni is, she’s the make up artist. Maybe one of them is the photographer? unless toni is too… Is ryan the muscle?

    ugh!! I could keep going like this. Anyway, you have got my attention!

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    #84167
    Shannon
    Participant

    Here are some suggested edits for Chapter 1.

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    Attachments:
    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #84171
    Shannon
    Participant

    Chapter 2 suggested edits:

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    Attachments:
    #84193
    Tina
    Participant

    I love the whole premise of your book. I relate to mark as I started the same way role playing with my significant other. Eventually< I accepted the role of sub. Once she had me fully trained to worship her and serve her every need she suggested I adopt the role of maid on occasions. The feminization process was so slow and unobtrusive that I didn’t really see the transformation that was occurring until it was too late. The first time she told me that she was going to fuck me like the sweet little girl I had become I warned her it would be the end of our relationship. She laughed as I was securely bent over a chair with my arms and legs secured. I was torn by the sheer eroticism of the moment but filled with repulsion as she raped me for the first time. I lost track of time as she repeated the process over the next few hours making me thank her and beg for more. A couple of weeks passed and no attempts to repeat the process. It was all I could think about, her bending me over and having her way with me. Finally, I asked her. Is my little girl horny for my strapon she replied. Yes , please I said. You’re going to have to do more than ask, she said. Anything, I replied. In my office she secured me to my desk chair and turned on the computer. Soon I was staring at endless sissy porn, while she repeated the previous process. It took a few sessions, but When she was done with me I was ready for anything. I have sold my business, titled all my possessions in her name. I have finished all the medical transformations. I am her girl, her maid, her toy. I live to worship her and make her happy. I service all her friends both male and female simply to see the satisfied smile on her face.

    #84195
    Shannon
    Participant

    Chapter 3 suggested edits

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    Attachments:
    #84593
    Cassidy James
    Participant

    I swear most of this story was released on the old site right? or am i imagining things?

    #85286
    sissy steffi kitten
    Participant

    Maidenhead keeps getting better and better hop the next chapter is posted soon

     

    sissy stffi kitten

    #85732
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    OH WHOA! Whoa.. I don’t want to spoil that ending, but that whole scene. Holy..

    I always get so lost in your words and can almost see my self on the toilet seat where she sits. The smell of the makeup taking me back to my younger years sneaking around at 3 in the morning just to take a hour putting on eye shadow. I even tried mascara once and did not know it would be THAT hard to get off… Still looked weird the next day.

    Shaped eyebrows, brush teasing. I can see that Lacy not getting a climax for this long is actually kind of amazing for Mark. Those flashbacks of his are so exciting, but leaves me so disappointed in him. I don’t know how it actually made it this far with him always screwing up, but maybe Miss Sellers likes her bimbo maid that way?

    I can’t get over that last moment, in front of everyone…

    Toni is still one of my favorite’s so far. I love how upfront she is, meeting the embarrassment head on and getting a chuckle out of it. Teasing him like that, keeping him on the edge until… Even the M&R lip gloss makes an appearance! ^_^

    I feel like i’m just along for the ride now, Not able to dive as deep into the story as I had before. I love the relatively tame beginnings, compared to the present. Sure, the maid outfit is a really big first step, but it was still in private. This feels like a whole life time away from just 8 months ago. You say we have around 15 pages left? Are any of these chapters planed to be a full flashback? or will it continue to be peppered through out, so it helps with the mystery of how we got this point.

     

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #86141
    Shannon
    Participant

    Jenni,

    It’s not 15 pages left.  It’s 15 more chapters.

    To answer Cassidy’s question, yes, this story was released on the old site.  I remember reading it a number of years ago.

    ~Shannon

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    #88867
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    Thank you Shannon, It was just a slip up. I mentioned chapters soon after.

     

    I just read the new chapter and I think I’ll come back to this chapter before I post more about it. I’ll just say that I think this is my favorite flash back so far and I just love what’s unfolding here. It’s all new to me, since I had never read it the first time it was published, was kind of away.. from this sort of stuff.

     

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #89041
    Jenni swallows
    Participant

    I had to take a moment to gather my thoughts on this chapter because so much took place for poor Mark and Lacy. I normally have a few things that stood out for me, but this one I had lost track of everything I wanted to touch on in a write-up.

    I didn’t even get the orgasmic release:
    Page 93 playing off of the last cliff hanger for chapter 8 is one I’ve played out in my head several times. Part of the sissylink appeal, especially after my time in the chair for my punishment, is “cumming” embarrassingly in front of someone and still just being horny. The fact that she’s not in a belt is a hundred time that, like rubbing your own shameful desires in your face.

    IT’s so squirmy, I love how everyone is just in on the joke and she’s left clueless and feeling like the airheaded ditz she pretends to be. I can feel how manipulated she’s become and when Trica called her slut, I just felt her pulling Lacy strings. A beautiful mastermind, but I’m not sure if this is a punishment or just for Pleasure. Maybe both?

    The details:
    I always love how you can stretch one moment out into eternity for poor lacy. When she’s washing the dishes, bending over under the sink and just standing there being inspected. It gives me a moment to slip into her heels the way the scene kind of comes to life in my head. Maybe I’m thinking too hard about it, but your stories have always painted a clear image in my head.

    I love it when someone puts a specific scent or description of a smell, like her strawberry scented hair falling across her nose earlier in the story. A scent the character is constantly aware of and something we can instantly place or even use. I try to do the same with my character here, it’s been fun seeing it catch on with other players as my scent. *blush* and I caught that bit about not watching her nails putting on the glove. I can’t help but think that’s not a throw-away mention.

    Washing dishes:

    Oh my god… I think I have my new favorite moment when she catches Miss sellers eyes at the sink. That’s such an erotic thrill to be caught by your wife playing the sluty maid… And now that she thinks it’s all for the photo, it must have felt a little romantic for lacy. A strange comfort in thinking this was all for him. That is, until later on when Toni and Charles show back up later on. hah!

    Presenting her self like that, spreading her thighs, lacy is starting to feel a little slutier than ever after Toni stoked her fire in the bathroom. The battle of the voices is kind of picking up a little too, with even mark taking a back seat for a moment. I love the different voices/urges for the character, I wish I had thought about that for my own character, seems so freeing to just battle with your self. lol. It wasn’t me, it was that slut.. in me.

    Though I think my training into a slut is pretty fun too… Lacy seems to have been a very horny slut long before she was put into the outfit. Her cock getting her in trouble.. oh my god, are you going to lock her up in chastity? ok, ok.. maybe not, but that would be so cruel at this point for her. *giggle*

    The photoshoot:

    I can’t tell you how many times a photoshoot/model Role play scene has been in my requests for other sites. This scene scratched that itch and then some. Maybe it’s the very back and forth of ordering a pose and getting the result, whereas there’s a lot more to it in a post by post telling of the scene. It might be one of those scenes that just work better from one perspective, and I love that even mark came out to enjoy a little of the fantasy.
    I’m so glad Lacy got to focus on Miss sellers now and again, just under her watchful eye. As much as lacy wants it, I love the feeling that Lacy is doing these things because of her wife’s doing. A little doll in a game she doesn’t know she’s playing. So delightfully embarrassing and thrilling.. under someone’s thumb like that.

    I almost feel like I could catch my breath right alongside her each time she was told to freeze. Getting to take in every inch of her outfit pulling and stretching in her frozen pose. The ending scene feels like something off one of those sexy romance novels.. gah! made into the helpless damsel! I shouldn’t gush at the thought, but it’s a delightful thought.

    It almost reminds me of some scenes with marla in drinking games and video games. Though that was totally not his idea… lol. Feels like the wife is shining a giant spotlight on another side of her husband and now he’s forced to confront some hard truths.. she’s better as the sexy help.
    Well, That’s all I could think to say. I felt more like I’m gushing or just repeating details, Just how I feel reading it or what worked. I wish I could provide more constructive feedback, but hopefully praise works just as well.

    My name is Jenni and I do what I am told.

    taunt and tease me to please me.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #104105
    sissy steffi kitten
    Participant

    Please please please post a few more chapter , I did read the story on the old site but never the ending. Was the story ever ended on the old site? I would say where I ended reading but that would spoil it for my sissy sisters reading it for the first time.

     

    Thank you

     

    sissy steffi and i do as i am told

    #104139
    Shannon
    Participant

    Steffi,

    There are 3 chapters that were never released on the old site.  @lissadaniels will release them in order, once she returns to the site (assuming her life slows down enough to allow it!).

    ~ Shannon

    The higher the heels, the closer to Heaven.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #127193
    Shyboy
    Participant

    I would love your input, feedback and any grammar, format or minor corrections for the eventual ‘novel’ form of this story. Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed, please let me know.

    Click here to read Maidenhead.

    Absolutely luuuuv this story

    counstantky hard just thinking how the next chapter is going go

    cannot wait

    #133412
    Anonymous

    Thanks for ch. 13

    Still aroused from reading it last night.

    Incredible writing talent.

    Thanks gorgeous.

    Kelly

    #133613
    Anonymous

    Just read ch.14

    Thanks for posting it so soon.

    I am so aroused right now.

    Kelly

     

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #133738
    Taylor Hughes
    Participant

    I must admit some confusion. I recall reading twenty chapters of Maidenhead long ago. I had saved them as PDFs on my computer and still reread them from time to time. The story was nearing its conflusion and, I mean this truly sincerely, it was one of the sexiest, most thrilling erotic stories I’d ever read. I recall checking in nearly every day in hopes of seeing a new release. When the chapters dried up I was disappointed, and have mainly checked in with this site since then once in a blue moon in hopes of seeing Maidenhead concluded.

    So, when I saw that you recently upload chapter fourteen of Maidenhead on the site, I was a little perplexed.  Is there an update or backstory about what’s happened with the story in ther intervening period? I’m thrilled to see any updates about it, even if I am confused as to what’s going on! Please keep up the writing!

    #133755
    Melissa
    Keymaster

    It’s gone through a minor rewrite and is now being released episodically with those corrections all the way through the end.  Glad you’re enjoying the story…

    1 user thanked author for this post.
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