July 28, 2018 at 5:54 am #14602JeniferParticipant
I’m a male to female TS. Over 40, I have to live as a male to support a family, but I would like to start my transition some what. I would like to start on estrogen but I’m conserned about mental health changes. How hard is it to control emotions. I live in the US, and any info on this route would be great. I would like to read all stories. I only put my country as know this system but if your in an other country please let us know to help other sisters.July 31, 2018 at 12:31 pm #15770ChloeParticipant
Have courage and be true to yourself. From what i have read HRT is less likely to habe a direct impact on mental health as M2F. Their could be periodic hormone fluctuations that bring about sudden mood changes, similar to the female cycle, but not actual mental health. There is also the potential dysphoria that comes from gradual changes in physical appearance.
I’m 37, about to start HRT for M2F transition myself. I joined LIL for a little roleplay but also to see if i can connect with more transgender women for guidance. I’m also connected to an online forum at susans.org which is fantastic for information and human contact.
Best of luck with everything,
xAugust 2, 2018 at 8:58 pm #16979Sarah WildParticipant
I have only just come back to LIL after a time away but wanted to offer my experience.
I started on HRT over two years ago and it is the best thing i ever did both physically and mentally. there are some things though that most transgender people deal with and myself included shame and self acceptance and expectations. overcome these and you are way out in front :). BE who you are. on the HRT side of things progesterone supplements can heighten depressive mood swings especially provera is notorious for it. I use prometrium which has less impact in that area and is natural instead of synthetic. how ever saying that provera is widely cheaper and may improve your breast size more then that of promethium but i am unqualified really to make that a determination only what i read online.
oh One more thing. make sure you look at your diet too. cut out/limit trans fat foods (deep fried) and do not consume to much soy. I myself am vegan and believe that diet ,exercise, and a strict beauty regime are just as important as the hormones. do not think the hormones are a be all and end all you need to adopted the whole package.
Lots of Love and Best wishes
Sarah x0August 6, 2018 at 2:45 am #18068JeniferParticipant
I know I’m not a male. I hate my body, but I have followed all the rules to point I have anxiety attacks every day, thoughts of just ending it all. I have read every thing I can about HRT online and scholarly. What is expected is more than wish for. I don’t expect to get a huge rack, small waist, and a bubble butt. I want to just feel better in my skin. Decrease anxiety, less body hair would be a plus, losing my sex drive would be huge positive.
I will transition if healthy at retirement age. I just don’t want to lose a small business in the process between now and then. Until then it’s womans jeans, panties, sleep where, painted toenails, skin care, any thing I can hide. Then it’s skirts, earrings, and makeup as I travel as women I am.
1 user thanked author for this post.August 21, 2018 at 4:47 pm #22220NatashaParticipant
Another M2F here who joined for similar reasons to Chloe. Have a bit of fun, learn a bit about myself and others and mostly escape into a better place for a while.
I was on hormones for 18 months then developed an intolerance issue with other meds so had to stop, but am just getting re-started. In addition to Sarah’s post I’d say that the main feeling will be feeling much happier and calmer, not so much being on a knife edge. I didn’t need to hide that as people were commenting on how much better I was day to day.
I’m seriously overweight even after losing 50 pounds in 6 months and more before then. Things got better when I was advised that my metabolism was always nearer a female one than male so I should diet as a woman. It took a while but it’s certainly working. I’m now getting rid of 1.5 to 3.0 pounds a week without feeling starved. When I get down some more I’ll be able to start more exercise which will help shape me.
Best advice I’ve got so far? Accept that you made a rubbish man and be the best woman you can be.
Natasha xxOctober 15, 2018 at 6:29 pm #34556AnnieParticipant
I’ve been on HRT since 2015. The best thing I can say is be yourself! Work closely with your doctors to watch your hormone levels. I have also noticed that using a smaller dose every day (estradiol pills) as apposed to injectables (twice monthly) has helped stabilize my mood swings.
Love who you are!
AnneDecember 20, 2018 at 8:57 am #48219VeronicaParticipant
I don’t know that I have a lot to add to what has already been said. I am a 57 years old trans-woman. I started HRT two years ago. I wish that I had started sooner. I feel like it has helped my mental health. I’ve been living 24/7 as the real me for over a year now, and I’m scheduling surgical consultations.
The main thing that I found with HRT was simply that I felt right in my own skin. I am more emotional than I was, but mostly I think that is because I give myself permission to be so. … and besides that tape dispenser really is sooo cute, and it looks so lonely sitting there all by itself … ok, it’s not quite that bad. 🙂 But I do weep much more freely than I once did. Movies and songs mostly, but unexpected kindness can cause me to fall apart. (The amount of kindness and love that I have experienced from friends and family was unexpected and feels at times miraculous)
With regards to my actual regimen, I am currently not using progesterone as I’ve found that it caused some pretty difficult mood swings. The data regarding its impact on breast development is mostly anecdotal. Neither I nor my doctor has been able to find any real studies documenting its effectiveness. (Welcome to the life of a trans-woman.) 😛 If you do decide to start HRT, find a doctor. Do not “wing it”. HRT can be dangerous if not monitored. (Blood tests etc,) I do agree with Sarah’s comments. Diet, exercise and in my case sleep have a huge impact on my mental outlook.
At work: I really did not see much in the way of breast development for about four months. I wore baggy shirts, and eventually sports bras. No one seemed the wiser. The people around me saw what they wanted or expected to see. Even when I shaved off my goatee, started wearing more jewelry and growing my hair out I didn’t receive comments … other than from a few women telling me how much they liked the long hair. (and don’t I wish I knew that 30 years ago) I know of at least one woman who has been on HRT for four years and still presents male at work.
You do not say whether or not your family knows that you are MTF. For me, the changes that I was going through were very difficult for my partner. She was and still is supportive, but she is not a lesbian. In other words, this is not the marriage she signed up for. We’ve been living apart for a little over a year, and will likely divorce. While that sounds bad, we go out regularly and she is invited to every one of my greater family events. In a month we will attend her university fundraiser, which is a black tie dinner. I’ll be wearing a gown and heels. There are times when we are out together and I hear her say something that tells me that she is in my corner.
Every family is different. I know women who stayed with their partners through transition. Conversely, I also know women who lost their children and were driven out of their homes. You may believe you have a sense of where your partner sits on that spectrum, but our families transition along with us. Your partner has a road to travel as well and it that road may not end up at the same destination as yours.
You mentioned that you have thoughts of ending it all. Please please please get support. Get a shrink, find a group session. They are ALWAYS anonymous and what happens in group stays in group. Through group will find others who have been through what you are experiencing, and have come out the other side. Talk to someone. Also, here are the numbers for the translifeline:US: 877-565-8860Canada: 877-330-6366
Honey, nearly 41% of our community consider suicide. That number goes up to over 50% when people do not have support. Six years ago, I could not tell anyone what was going on in my head. I was depressed and on meds. I am telling you that it gets better, that you are good enough, and that you deserve to be happy. That voice in your head telling you otherwise is just afraid, and needs a little help.
Hugs and Muahs
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