This one might be a little heavy hearted but I seem to be really struggling with this
I am transitioning to Female next year and I really want to tell him and his girlfriend because they are such wonderful people (Super understanding) but I lack the courage based upon the fact my outer persona just hardens the fuck up and goes all manly basically blocking me from telling them.
Any Advice would be super appreciative.
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<p style=”text-align: left;”>I sympathise it would be extremely tough. The only thing I can suggest, with no experience really to fall back on, is you have made a decision already for your life it sounds like. You say they are good people and you want them in your life. You just need to tell them what your life is going to be. You can’t control their reactions you can only control your decision. If they are good people and want you, whatever you that is, in their life, they will be accepting. If they can’t accept it there is not much you can do. But the longer you leave it the harder it will get.</p>
I am no expert at this by far, but my situation is identical and is building I think to a full disclosure. My older brother, like your brother, is a caring and probably more accepting person than myself toward “new ways of being”. But, that said, I have in my history with him felt awkward as my breast buds arrived and he would notice by giving them an all too knowing poke which seemed to call me out before I was even sure where I was even going with it. I have on occasions started discussions with him in third person disassociated ways of what the challenges may be for transgendered and he is surprisingly to me cool with it and supportive. He has seen me gradually transition first with longer hair, shined nails, and limited use of lipsticks and eyeliners to see that I am a little more, at best, a more stylish “brother” than he. Now, that I have become committed to my path I too worry that I will face some sort of anger about it and don’t want to destroy our relationship. But, in the end, as this will resolve, I am hopeful he will feel just as close to his newest sister who has had the courage to be herself.
I also have two sisters, which is another issue entirely. They live further away from me. Although one I credit with getting me on this path by first dressing me up in the bathroom when we were girls (I am thankful to her for that), and I think she would be ok, but teasing, with full disclosure; the other is more gender conservative like my dad and may be more rejecting. I don’t know. But, I have to believe over time she will just in her super scientific way see me through some natural chemical developmental pathway interpretation and accept it. Ultimately, I don’t care: I am the only me I will ever know and I invite them both to be reintroduced to me! Besides, we ARE sisters! Yes sisters… and they are my older role models.
A genuine state of future acceptance???? I imagine myself going on a future brunch with all of them, fully myself…their youngest sister that they grew up with, awkward Saranna, who we pretended was a boy for so long…and just being so relaxed that just a simple request to pass the butter leads to a conversation of what a pretty choice of color I made for my nails interrupted by my brother, who bored with the topic of nail polish, protectively comments that maybe I should not be so revealing in my choice of tops. You know… normal sibling stuff.
Anyway, I truly relate to your challenges as they are mine as well.
All my love and support ❤️,